Saturday, 15 November 2014

Plans? that's tempting fate!

On Monday afternoon I got back to the Cornwall flat, rather pumped up with plans for the week ahead. I was celebrating being half way back on my feet, my heart working with a bit more percentage, the shoulder injury easing up, and generally being almost back to my usual fibro self with bad days balanced by the good. Yep, things were looking up it seemed. Travel takes it toll now, the 40 mile journey has to be recovered from by doing nothing until the next morning so making myself comfortable, changing into my lounging pyjamas, I retired to bed in order to get over the journey.

Cut to Tuesday; because of resting up the day before I was OK enough to unpack my luggage and medications etc. More of the latter than the former if I'm honest with you. It is much to my embarrassment that the amount of medications, pills, capsules, and liquids that I have to cart around to keep me going, has a bag all to themselves. Still, no doubt there's plenty of other people who need far more. Anyway, I came to put the empty cases on top of the wardrobe and on shoving them backwards I felt a hard thumping crack in my lumber spine. Now what had I done? My old, long standing spondylosis / spinal stenosis had been awakened rather sharply. That's what! I've got over ten years of coping with this ailment and generally I manage very well, being able to use the techniques taught by my physio to 'quieten' it down, so that it mutters in the background rather than screams full blast. So while it didn't actually bring me to my knees it came close, thus I ended up lying on the bed taking extra morphine, codeine, and paracetamol. Not all in one dose I hasten to add.

 There I've been for the rest of the week - In bed unable to move freely. When I have to get out to go the loo, have a leg stretch and so forth, my movements are akin to a penguin who has pooed his pants. Even in agony i can laugh at myself, I think most sufferers of long standing illness and disability have this knack. After all, it's either laugh or cry and although I do my share of crying, I think - I certainly hope - that I do more laughing.

So much for the planning of gentle strolls in the park, round the lake, and the window shopping in town!! I am used to plans going awry or falling through entirely, of course I am, I've got fibromyalgia. You can't plan much when fibro is your companion for it has a mind of its own and your body belongs to it. I learnt early on that it's a case of grabbing the opportunities as they happen so as not to miss the good spells. When I feel OK then it's time to play, not faff around thinking. Thinking is for the bad spells. However it doesn't stop me from planning, old habits die hard, but now I don't get so upset when they don't happen. I get pissed off, sure I do but who wouldn't?

So here I am early Saturday morning, looking back at a week that has consisted of doing zero, zip, zilch physical activity, rested but still in agony. Stupid spine. It'd better not be the same next week, please don't let it be another week of this cos I have plans! {Wink}

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