Sunday 31 May 2015

The one where I have lupins, lilies, and laughs.

On the 30th May 1958 I finally decided it was time to enter the world. One month late, so instead of being a Taurean Bull, I became a Two-sided Gemini. Fine by me, I'd much prefer to be a butterfly flitting here and there, growing bored of routine within half an hour of experiencing it rather than a cement booted, scared of change stubborn Bull. Believe me I know bulls, both planetary ones and flesh and blood, hooves and horns ones. The latter far more understandable than the former. Note of importance-  I am jesting. I happen to have a number of really lovely human Bulls in my life, including my darling husband. So definitely jesting. Pulling your leg. Tongue in cheek. Easy now, shhhh, that's a good bull. Stop scraping the floor with your foot.

We'll swiftly move on to lupins and lilies...

For the first time in many years my birthday was spent in part with the company of both my boys. That's not a complaint in any way, I'm the kind of mother who understands that her children have a life of their own to lead. My birthday, like everyone's, doesn't often fall on a weekend so it's not easy for the boys to see me. Goddess forbid I become a demanding old crone who believes she's the centre of the universe, whose first words of greeting are along the lines of  "Oh it's you is it, you've not visited me for ages. If you want a cuppa put the kettle on. Teabags are in the same place as they were last year."  No I want my offspring to enjoy visiting me!
I'm digressing again. I've now forgotten what I was going to say...

Of course! I had a really lovely birthday in the company of my family. The weather was nice; nice enough for my sun lounger to make an appearance.*   A day of cuppas and cake, hugs and hurrahs, and lilies and lupins. The latter being simply beautiful gifts from my children. Gifts that will grow. I'm so blessed. I'm so happy. Confused with fibro fog but nevertheless happy.

*It happened again. No sooner does my sun lounger appear, the sun gives a shriek of horror and goes to hide behind the thickest rain cloud he can find. The bloody wimp! He's terrified of the green check cushion and green tubular metal. Someone give the sun a dose of courage, a kick up the solar backside to get himself up and at it. He's got Devon to bathe in sunlight.

Monday 4 May 2015

Trying to explain the unexplainable.

I've just managed a shower. Looked in mirror and to all outwards appearance I look a healthy middle aged crone.  I don't blame people for disbelieving fibro.  It's really difficult to understand that inside that outwards look I'm struggling to move, that each movement feels like agony, that I've no energy left after showering to towel myself dry so I just wrap myself up and drip dry flat out on bed.  Again.  Head hurts, bones feel like they're full of flu, skin is crawling with unseen ants and I've got freezing feet even though I've got thick fleece socks on.  But none of it can be seen by the onlooker so they think we are pulling their leg. 
I'm not after sympathy but asking you to just try to understand.

Friday 1 May 2015