I've made myself a studio corner in my bedroom. Sounds good right? I've got my half poster bed which turns into a double ended sofa with the use of a few a strategically placed cushions. Two bookshelves hold my art materials plus of course a few dozen books unrelated to art but where else to keep them I've no idea. I've a stool next to my ‘side table’ -actually a large cardboard box covered with an attractive piece of material and holding a couple of sheep's worth of wool- the two together form more work surfaces for holding my stuffs. Soon I'll only be able to shuffle sideways crab fashion as the only way to get to my bed to sit on it is by doing just that crab walk past boxes and chests.

Yeah my little studio corner is small and I'll admit to missing the old days of having a well lit room all for myself but needs must, they say, and the important part is that I've got back into art. A huge step forward after the recent years of being unable to even raise a smile never mind a pen.

Hi, it’s Daisy Mae. I just wanted to say a few words about something some of you might be going through yourselves.

The time has come for my baby girl to leave home allbeit for only 3 nights a week to go to art college, but my goodness it gives me the feels! 

She’s not 18 until March so I’m  especially worried about her staying in uni halls with older students. Particularly as her latest motto is “mum, what happens in halls stays in halls!”

I can’t wait for her to go and give me 3 nights of not being talked to death, but it’s going to be so hard! I’m worried, stressed, concerned, sad about her growing up, it’s all so much emotion in one go. 

Hey ho, gotta let them grow up and spread their wings sometime I suppose. 

A year ago...

Trying to work out what I've got to tell you that might be the slightest bit interesting, I came across a piece I wrote this time last year but never published.
Reading through this is rather good for me as I've changed so much since then and it really is good to know that my state of mind is much better now.
So here it is, one year ago I wrote...

Another lovely sunny late July morning. Height of summer just before we start sliding down into the cold months. What am I doing? Am I running round getting my chores done so that I can later relax and enjoy the day? Am I planning what next to turn my craft hand to? Am I packing a picnic lunch before heading out with the dogs to somewhere peaceful and quiet on the Moors? No, none of these exciting, wonderful days await me, only another day filled with wracking pain in every joint and even my skin. So I'm faced with another day lying in bed, taking painkillers that will send me to sleep so I can escape the pain for a few hours.

Every morning i wake full of hope that this will be the day I can move freely. Sometimes my hopes are fulfilled but this last week my hopes are shattered, just like my body. I am so sick of this, the pain, the hopelessness, the missing out on lovely days and everything that comes with them.

Is it my fault? Have I created this monster that lives with me day by day? No, it's not a product of my mind, it's very real and very here. There's nothing I can do, no amount of positive thinking cures me nor stops the pain. I'm at the mercy of a monster that lives in and on me, no Knight in shining armour is going to rescue me. This is my life now. I have to live it, have to fill the days when I'm able to function and accept the days I'm not. I hate it, it's not me, my body has turned into something I don't recognise and something I dislike.

And there's nothing I can do but accept it as my lot. Keep taking the pks Deb, and hope for the best.

The slow responder

If you've said hello and I suddenly go, don't be mad,
never be sad, there's nothing bad. If there was I'd let you know.

If you've dropped me a line and it seems I decline to reply in a day or maybe since May, my blood you might bay. Hush up, my heart's still thine!

For I am a tardy, and not very hardy, responder of words,
I'd rather watch birds, and other things out there in the fresh natural air or write these rhymes, that have no rythym. Still, soon I'll be up to the times, tis best I keep with'em.
I do apologize. I may seem rude with a 'badass 'tude'
but my health is screwed. I really do sorry-ize!
( Ok ok I made that up but it rhymes, what d'ya want? Shakespeare?)

I'm back folks!!!🐝🐝🐝😊

posted from Bloggeroid