Cave and black holes

I don't feel like talking just lately, not even to my OH or my dog. Talk I must because by talking I'm keeping sociable which is important when you suffer the downs of bipolar. It's so easy to lock yourself away keeping the outside world nonexistent. To you it might seem easy to talk and mingle with society, you might even be saying to yourself "oh come on stop being a mardarse and get on with it" or my mother's favourite expression "pull your socks up and do some work". So easy to talk isn't it, unfortunately when you've got some mental health problem it's not. You go into yourself, into the black hole as I call it. The black hole is when you get so low you go past the 'cave' stage* and down and down some more until you're rock bottom. Then you're in trouble darling. Thankfully I'm not at rock bottom, I'm holding onto the edge of the black hole feet dangling over the deep, fingers white with gripping to avoid falling down.
Am I talking nonsense? To you maybe but anyone who suffers like me will understand only too well.
*Cave stage is when you begin to avoid people, hermit like. You go into your cave to be alone.

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