Sunday, 3 January 2016

And before i knew it the world is a year older!

I'm not the only one am I? Don't tell such a bloody lies! You can't say Christmas eve hadn't seen you being swept up in a typhoon that began in the supermarket and dumps you, fagged out, amidst the ruins of lucidity some 13 days into the new year? Now, not only has the world begun a new number, your body has a new number too, something like 14lbs extra than it was! It's never happened to you? Oh be like that then, you're perfect! I'm not and that's why I finally focused on this blog and realised that it's still stuck in 2015.

Not that it's a bad thing, after all 2015 was nice to me in many ways. It being the year my sojourn in the village of the dimmed came to an end and I came back home, to the peace (scuse me while I guffaw) and beauty of the Ruby Country. Back to Mr P and his never ending love and care, to my familiars who made it clear they were happy to see me back. Back home safe and sound. Where I belong. (There's a song in that somewhere!)

2015 also saw me with a clean bill of health in the private areas. My cervical smear came back OK!! Wow that's something I tell you! I've had so many colposcopys and Lletz that it became routine to open wide and look at the ceiling. We even had a joke that the consultant was actually going pot holing, "have you got your torch and ropes, doc?"  I'm one of those who like to see what's been taken away from my body, so I always ask to look. It's fascinating to see an oxo cube size lump that's been quietly living in your body. Be gone damn cells!

Ladies please never be afraid to go for a smear test, never be afraid if they ask you to go and have a colscopy or anything like that. Does it hurt? Only if you want it to. The worst part for me was my first one and the injection into my cervix. It didn't so much hurt but made my pulse rate higher causing dizziness and nausea. The cups of tea and biscuits that they give you after are nice though! Try to understand that even if you have cells that are cancerous or liable to cancer, you can be treated and healed. I'm proof! Obviously the HPV virus remains in the body but I'm not letting that bother me I'll just keep going along for smear tests, let the docs sort it.

Anyway. Now it's 2016 and I've no plans or resolutions. Can't do the former because I live day to day and I don't believe in the latter. For goddess sake it's just another stick to beat yourself up with. "I made that new year resolution to stop squeezing my spots but I've just had to release that tiny volcano that was on my chin! Oh I'm a failure!"
Instead of resolutions I've made something of a bucket list for the year.
Wanna see?

1) finish writing my book, I've had three on the boil for the last 6 year, ridiculous! This year one will be finished and published!

2) visit as many as I can of the properties that the national trust and English heritage look after. I've been a member of both for years  and yet not taken advantage of it. For this I need to get my fibro under control. So maybe that's two things on the list, not one. Who cares?

3) finish the wall hanging and get it sold! Three years in the making, I think it's more than overdue to be finished.

4) try to find something that makes holding brushes and pencils easier for me. I really miss doing my art but get so frustrated with shaking hands and cramping fingers that turn dead with Renaud's at the drop of a hat.

5) Love myself for who I am and what I can still do. Don't keep beating myself up over things I can't do much about. I've never loved myself, really need to learn how to do that. I wonder though, is it too late at 57 years? Can an old crone learn new tricks? Why not! I've learnt how to crochet, surely learning to love myself can't be much more confusing than that!

So those five things are my list for the year. They're not plans and they're not resolutions. Simply five things that I'd like to do this year. If I don't manage, then so be it.

We'll see won't we? 😜

I'm tired now, my energy tank has been running on low this afternoon therefore it's been nighty on and in bed at a ridiculously early hour but Hey Ho who cares!

I'll finish by wishing all my five readers a very happy, prosperous, healthy and fun filled 2016.  Enjoy every moment!

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